July


and this month we'll be dealing with one of our ultimate disgusts,



Tourists


And a very common one this month seeing as it is July and all you idiotic little tourists come running down to the Nation's Capitol to see the monuments and celebrate Independence Day. Dragging your screaming, whiney, bratty, spoiled children with you.

We see you on the streets in your matching clothes with your matching cameras and your matching pouty faces and matching whiney voices as you befuddle yourselves with maps and bother every person on the street with stupid questions about directions and local monuments.

"Is that big tall white thing up there with the flags around it the _real_ Washington Monument?"

As opposed to the fake one? Sheesh can you people get any dumber?

Tourism during the summer in DC is just a generally bad idea. To begin with. DC is not a cool (temperature wise) place during the summer. It gets into the nineties with sun shining and all these little kids are whining about the heat and that they are tired and have to go to the bathroom. They don't want to be dragged around to every stupid little statue, monument, cemetery etc. just to get a stupid picture. Not to mention that DC is not the easiest city to drive in and it's obvious that you do not know what the hell you are doing! Or where you are going. And now you are clogging up the roads, and parking garages, and metros. You are so annoying.


Also you never seem to be able to understand that DC has a lot of, well, not so normal people in it. Instead of just accepting the fact that DC is different from whatever Godforsaken hole you climbed out of you point and stare and whisper about it like an old quilting circle. Jesus people grow up!! Yes! We don't look like you! But it doesn't mean we're going to eat your children. Please lady, we have better taste.


Thankfully though July 5th is "National Shoot a Tourist Day" So be prepared. We will be.

Oh no. Maybe you're one of those tree-hugging bunny lovers who wants to take their little kids on a tour of Dc and show them all the monuments cause you think it will be "fun" and "educational".
Or Maybe you're one of those idiot yuppies tourists who drives their little BMW through the streets of DC without caution of heeding the signs. Yeah, well National Shoot a Tourist Day was made with you in mind. So go home! The people back there are used to putting up with you! We don't feel like it.

This month's disgust brought to you by Megan