*Disclaimer* Please be aware the authors of this web page are not
actually suggesting that anyone go out and harm other human
beings/animals/plants, the following is a _JOKE_ if you can not take it
as such do NOT read this
and other
various forms of amusement
Well, we've all seen it. You go out to your local club, dressed to the
nines, fishnets, PVC boots, black dress, Black patent leather corset,
elbow gloves, the works.
You're dancing to The Smiths, or The Cure or even Sisters of Mercy when
you see them. "Them". Yep, those yuppie/preppie scum who invade your
club in their little white shorts and flannel shirts. The drunken frat
boys who stare at your chest and smirk before trying to dance and failing
miserabley.
Or worse, the older ex-frat boy, now yuppie who comes onto the dance
floor still in his three piece suit and believes that by imitating the
Nutcracker he will fit in on the dance floor, or worse tries to dance to
Jesus Built My Hotrod.
They laugh, make jokes about the music, a music they know little to
nothing, about. And then they try to pick up the Goth Girls on the dance
floor. Girls who are about the age of their own children, are now open
prey to their slimy sexual advances.
Well, we got a bit sick of it happeneing week after week, so we decided
action was due course. and thus our baby, "Suffer the Yuppie" was
created.
Enjoy, and feel free to employ it in Your own club.
Suffer The Yuppie
Basic Premises
The basic ulterior motive for the game, Suffer The Yuppie is more
than just causing duly harm to yuppies/preppies/frat boys and slimy men
who hit on you at clubs. It is also a study in the art of Sadism and
Torture. Two crafts all Gothic Souls should possess.
It is also a helpful way of ridding your local club of the
yuppie/preppie/frat boy and slimy men presence, surely a worthy goal in
any case.
Be aware that this game does not promise to keep your local club clear of
Yuppies etc, or even to clear them out in the first place, but it does
promise to be a lot of fun.
and now, with _that_ out of the way, let us move on to Rules and Regulations.
Fuck the Rules and Regulations!
Rules and Regulations
1) Yuppies and preppies and frat boys, must be on the premises of the
club. You cannot drag them in off the street for fun.
2) Yuppies and Preppies and frat boys (here after referred to just by
Yuppies) must be true Yuppies etc. You CANNOT dress up a friend or a
family member as a Yuppie and "suffer" them.
3) Yuppie must initiate contact, or action. You cannot just assault some
old guy in your club. He must first try to hit on you, or knock you
down, or touch you in some way.
4) You CANNOT assault some scene member you have a grudge with and then
claim you thought he/she was a yuppie.
5) You Cannot lead the Yuppie on by flirting with him and then deciding
to deck him.
6) Purposely getting the Yuppie drunk before "suffering" him is
discouraged, though _allowing_ the yuppie to get drunk all on his own is
perfectly fine, and actually encouraged for a few reasons. a) they can't
fight back as well if they are drunk. b) they tend to get much sleasier
and therefore give a much better reason for the attack.
7) Double Teaming the Yuppie is discouraged unless there is more than one
of them. If you are being harrassed by two or three frat boys, it is
perfectly respectable to use four or five people to bring them down.
other rules may be added as neccessary due to the local
customs
Description of Yuppies
Well, I'm sure you all know what a yuppie looks like (which is good cause
they are in a way kind of hard to describe) but it is a good idea for
every location this is played at to keep a running description of the
local Yuppies, so you don't accidently injure someone of your own scene
simply from another area, an area that dresses, as a whole, differently
than yours.
Basic Description:
Yuppies tend to be between the ages of thirty and fifty. They tend to
wear three piece suits and look as if they are lawyers. They also look
as if they have just dragged their ass off a barstool at the local place
that was having hour (most likely due to the fact that they _DID_ just
drag their ass off a barstool at the local place that was having happy
hour). They at first tend to be bewildered by the dancing, and then
attempt to imitate it, failing miserabley, or worse attempt to reproduce
moves seen only in Jackie Chan movies (slowed down of course) or at the
Metropolitan Ballet Theatre.
They tend to stand along the wall or edge of the dance floor and leer at
the girls drinking their imported beers and talking amongst themselves.
When slightly more intoxicated they try sexual advances on the more
exotically dressed women. They do not respond well to rejctions and most
of them tend to brush it off as if it never penetrated their puny
brains.
This is a basic description of the "yuppie" Please bear in mind that
they are lesser life forms and not capable of our higher thought and
therefore must be considered dangerous simply by their lack of being able
to understand the logic that we are not interested in them, nor is this
the place for them to be. And that we do not appreciate their gawking at
us or leering at us. All in all Yuppies are very stupid
creatures.
Well now that you know the rules, you may want ideas for the game. Basic
suggestions, quick sudden blows to the face or chest and then disappear
on the dance floor, This works especially well during faster more
violent songs because the blow could be considered an accident.
Otherwise wait for the slimy yuppie to approach you, make an indecent
proposal, and as loudly as possible proclaim your shock and how affronted
you are and shove him backwards over his feet and into his buddies hoping
that in the fall they injure themselves.
Play Nicely, and remember to have fun!