Date: Sat, 4 May 1996 17:18:13 -0400 (EDT)
From: -NatiOn- 
To: blah 
Subject: news flash!

                               HEADLINE: 
           "NatiOn may storm Ballroom.  Axis sues for peace."

	The sovereign being known as NatiOn may be making an appearance at 
the mediocre Capitol Ballroom tonight.  If such an invasion occurs, NatiOn 
will be in violation of his long-standing no-fly zone over the Ballroom.

	Rumour has it that the mildly troublesome Maxine may have ceased 
control of NatiOn and may be leading this attack on this second-rate 
goth-industrial club night.  This news agency has also received numerous 
unconfirmed sightings of the drunken Dutchess.

	"He has us completely outflanked," one Axis spokesperson
exclaimed,
"our forces are in disarray.  We don't know what the [expletive] else to
do, 
but surrender."

	A groundskeeper at the NatiOn embassy reportedly told a 
strangely-dressed automobile, "I saw him doing yard work from 10:30 to 
4pm.  he was digging up a tree stump and repairing a fence.  he looked 
stressed and hung-over.  He looked like he really needed to dance.  I 
think he had something in his nose, too."

	"We have half [our] forces massed at the border,  another 
quarter is preparing to ferry supplies, and I have two full divisions 
ready to ..um, like.. charge up my ass,  ..and stuff," said a beaming 
NatiOn spokesperson.

	A freedom fighter for the hard-boiled Conspiracy rebels shouted,
"We 
appreciate the help he's giving us!  ..but this is quite strange.   I 
have never met this NatiOn.  answer me truthfully,  ..is he some sort of 
idiot, or what?"

	DJ MowedHard Adam, his mouth and nose covered with a 
suspicious-looking white powder, declined to comment.


-Vince (?)