From: isolate@erols.com (Isolate)
To: blah2@obscure.org, DObjex@AMF.com
Subject: can i be the bitch of the month please?
Date: Tue, 18 Aug 1998 14:08:10 GMT

It seems like it's time for another rant. And following my pattern it is going to be work related...especially since all my personal life psychodrama has gone away (funny how that happened when i became single). Rob you can join in on the user bashing chorus.

Okay first off why the fuck am I still dealing with users? I put my 2+ years in doing helpdesk, I did my time, I paid my dues and now I expect not to have to deal with these pathetic demanding idiots. Why do I still deserve this punishment? Was it something I did in a past life? Was it all those years of torturing my parents? Perhaps it was that time I stole my best friends favorite scratch and sniff sticker back in 6th grade. Maybe it was sneaking around on my boyfriend with his roommate? Maybe it was for my 2 year relationship with Ian as "the other woman". Maybe there really is a God and I'm in hell right now? Whatever. I am just plain old sick of dealing with these people.

Every morning at 8:30am this one woman sends me a high priority urgent email asking "why haven't the databases been updated?" And every day I reply, "they are currently being updated, they won't be done til about 9am" Now don't you think that if every single day for over a month, you are told "they won't be ready til 9am" That you would realize that emailing me at 8:30am is utterly fucking pointless and only reveals your own stupidity?

Well, it gets even worse. I can't update the database unless every user is out of every db that links to the file i need to update. These are daily updates and every single day this user mentioned above and her partner in moronic dumb-fuckness open the files around 8am and then go off to meetings or drink coffee or stare blankly at their computer screens. So my updates are delayed because of these people, the same people that bitch about the updates not being ready for them in the morning. So I get to email every single access user begging them to please please please close down their dbs and i get to send pissy network messages to our access users telling them to get the hell out of the dbs (my name shows up on the emails, but not on the network messages). of course they ignore all the emails and all the messages so I either have to call every stupid access user or i can contact the helpdesk and ask them to contact the lan admin to have her dump all the users out. at least we finally have a competent lan admin (as opposed to the old person who didn't know shit and lost at minesweeper all day down in the lan room). and lo and behold she tells me that the only two people that have the file open are dumb and dumber. So i call them and dumb bitch number one says "oh you want me to close the db, i thought you wanted me to minimize it!!!" and dumb bitch number two says "oh I didn't know that my database links to the master db" um, hello supposedly you developed this db so how could you not know!?!?! every single goddamn day i have to put up with this and after this morning i am so close to murder...

But it gets even better. Because the bank still hasn't made up it's mind if they want to go to Office 97 (like we've been telling them for the past few months) as the standard or stay with Office 95, we had to put off all of our conversions from Access 2.0. But since we can't do our Y2K renovations in Access 2.0 my coworker decided that we have to go ahead with converting everything to Access 95 and then once the bank decides to go with Access 97 we will have to do this all over again. I guess making double work is a good way to ensure job security.

And my boss and one of my coworkers are on vacation this week and every single person came out of the woodwork yesterday asking where their Pipeline FHA HMDA FNMA Correspondent Year to Date Over Short Report was and why hadn't they gotten it yet!!! Of course my response to this...is this something i have ever done for you? Nope. Then why are you bugging me about it? I have no idea who you are and what you are asking about so leave me the fuck alone, i have my own work to get done. But of course it turns out that both Jim and David left without leaving any instructions about the projects they were working on or regularly scheduled reports they run. Gee, thanks guys, just run off on your vacations and don't even think of leaving any sort of documentation at all, nope don't even tell the people that you were working with on ongoing projects that you were leaving so they can get all pissed off at me just because I happen to sit across from you. And of course the users have no idea what I'm talking about when I ask if this is an Access report, an Impromptu report or a Focus report so I can narrow down out of the 200+ reports we run which one it is. All they know is that someone in our group does it for them and they don't have it and their boss is really mad. No offense but if this is something mission critical that you are responsible for wouldn't you know a little more about it then the fact that you get it in your mailbox every 10th business day of the month? But that would be asking too much for a user...to actually know something. Rob where is that scusi cable you had because i feel like it's time to dish out a beating.

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