IMPORTANT

As anybody can tell I haven't exactly been great at updating this thing. Part of it is because I'm using Livejournal too. Part of it is because I'm working and busy and everything and not a whole lot I want to post about is going on; basically, I'm lazy. And another part is because I'm no longer happy with Blogger. I had hoped that they're association with Google would resolve some of the things I didn't like, but no such luck.
So, here's the thing: I'm going to try to find somewhere else to put this. blog. Until then, there probably won't be any updates. Not that you'll see any change, since I haven't been updating very often.

Craziness

So, the last couple weeks have been... busy.
My cousin Nathan has been staying with us, and he's never really a problem. Very quiet and perfectly content to entertain himself. But the Dempsey's were also staying with us this weekend, and that made seven people in the house altogether, which was a little crowded for my taste. Great to see them, but it was just a lot going on in a short amount of time between them staying with us, Paul Vakey's wedding on Saturday and my taking care of Adam and Emily's animals while they were on vacation.
Interesting story about that, though. I was sure they were getting back Saturday, but then I forgot to get over there Saturday morning just to check up and make sure everybody was ok what with the wedding and craziness and all that. So I told dad I needed to do that, and he said 'just go tomorrow morning', and with everything else going on in my addled brain I somehow decided that meant Adam and Emily wouldn't be home until Sunday. As Adam later pointed out, I should know bwetter than to assume dad knows what he's talking about when it comes to schedules. So when I went over Sunday morning I surprised them and felt really stupid. But at least I saved them a trip by dropping off the keys while I was there.
Also, I bought a new digital camera. It's a Canon Powershot A460. The old camera finally got to a point where I couldn't get it to work well enough. The battery compartment doesn't close anymore because a tiny piece of plastic snapped off. Now the problem is going to be deciding what to do with it because I don't wanna just throw it out. Any ideas? You think anybody would buy it off e-Bay knowing it has this problem?
In other news, I saw the new Die Hard movie. I knew what to expect, and I got it. Lots of action. Explosions. Bruce Willis taking a beating but winning in the end anyway. It was a great, completly improbably escape. After watching it I realized it was completely brilliant from a psychological perspective because it somehow gets you to suspend disbelief to a point of absolute absurdity. You believe Bruce Willis can actually take down a fighter jet with a semi while speeding down a destroyed highway flyover. Physically impossible things occur, but you believe it because you see that he gets hurts in the process. Unlike other action heroes he actually suffers visible wounds, so it seems more plausible. He isn't indestructible like James Bond or Tom Cruise in the Mission Impossible movies. He's just really, really stubborn and lucky.
All the craziness of the last couple weeks has put a serious strain on my relationship with Jess because I haven't been around to talk to her as much as either of us would like. She had me up until nearly 4am on Friday night arguing because she wants more of a commitment out of me. This, I'm almost sure, is prompted by my saying I was going to a wedding. While I think that's understandable, I've told her repeatedly that talking to me at all that late at night is a poor idea because I can't think and end up just walking away because I need to go to bed. BUt she doesn't get it. She insists on staying up fighting until we solve everything even though we never do. You'd think she'd get the idea after this happens every time she tries it. I tell her I need sleep and we can better solve the problem in the morning when we're both rested and thinking clearly, but then she gets mad at me and says I don't care and my attempts to help make things worse so I just give up trying and go to bed. I'm sick of this. I really sat down and had a long conversation with her yesterday about everything. I think we accomplished something, but that isn't always a good thing.

*sigh*

My mom got back from Erie this week. She seems to be doing much better now, which is good. It's good to have her back.

It's been an exhausting week, and I've been super-bored at work 'cause I've been sitting at the receptionist's desk since Wednesday, basically waiting for something to happen--a phone call, visitor, something. So yeah, boring.

If I could I thinkI'd curl up and sleep all weekend. Instead, I think I'll try to see what some of my friends are up to. I miss having everybody nearby.

Lonely

I'm feeling lonely. Jess was down here for a week at the end of last month, and I miss her terribly. Also, I haven't seen much of my friends lately, and we're all really busy so finding a time to actually get together is tough. It doesn't help that my mom is up in Erie until an undetermined date. I'm glad she's getting to spend time with Nana and recover from her surgery, but I know that Rosie misses her. The poor dog goes over and lies by the stairs expecting her to come down. And there's nobody around to spend time with her all day, which isn't good. Dad's been pretty good about taking her for a walk every day, but still. I feel bad for her.
Wow. I'm not sure whether that's empathy for the dog, or me projecting my own feelings onto her. In any case, we all miss my mom. And my friends Ade and Rose have been bugging me to come back up to Pittsburgh and visit them, and I'd really love to but I just don't know when I'm gonna have the chance to do that. Next weekend is out 'cause its Father's Day (still gotta get him something!), and one of these days I'm gonna have to go hassle with my car to get an emissions waiver because of the messed up electrical system that's too old to do a computerized test on. You remember the hassle I went through with that a year ago, right?

yeah, yeah, I know... I'm terrible at this updating thing

But I'm busy with work, and by the time I get home, I'm just tired. Which I guess is a poor excuse for most things. But there it is.
So, it's been a year since I graduated, and I feel like a loser for not being in a better position. I'm working a job I loathe, but at least I get insurance, a paycheck, and work with people I like. I'm living at home, which saves me money and is nice right now 'cause I can help my mom out while she recovers. But there are obnoxious things, too. I have less privacy. My father is always expecting me to help out with stuff which I wouldn't mind doing if he'd actually ask, instead of demand in the form of a question. But like I said, I don't mind helping out, just the way he asks.
I dunno. I just feel more...constricted. But I can't afford to live anywhere else. Need to find somebody else to share rent with. ugh. Oh well. Keep applying for jobs, keep showing up to work... for the next 40+ years.
I really need to start playing the lottery.

Good News: had a great time up in Meadville. Spent a good chunk of time with Jess, got to see her finish her comp, see a bunch of friends, Francesca and my grandmother. Also, in completely unrelated news, Futuresight is out in just over a week.

Bad News: Didn't get around to see the Bakkens like I've been meaning to every time I'm up there. Also, my car got locked in a construction zone for an hour when I was getting ready to leave on Tuesday. There was literally nowhere else to park because they're tearing up the ONE visitor lot that exists on Allegheny's campus. Also, Nana was talking about selling the Farm, which really depresses me. I understand why, it's a lot to handle without my grandfather, but I love that place.

But really, the thing that has me worried the most? My mother's in surgery probably right about now. I know it isn't a huge, life-threatening procedure, but all surgery has risks.

So everything sucks right now. I mean, yes, things could certainly be worse, don't get me wrong.
I've moved in with my parents. But I still haven't really unpacked anything. Mostly because the basement, where I'll be living (yes, I'm aware this makes me a living cliche) is still being remodeled. They say they'll be done by the end of the week. But that's what they said last week. So I really haven't had the chance or reason to unpack anything because I'm not even sleeping down there at the moment. I tried to set up my computer. I can get a wireless signal from upstairs (which is surprising), but there's something else going on and I can't get online. It's infuriating. Something about renewing my IP Address. Any advice?
On top of everything else, I worked 47 hours last week, starting at 7am every day. I haven't been sleeping well since I haven't been sleeping in my own bed. And I've been fighting with Jess. A lot. Which I hate. She just turned in her comp on Monday, and with everything else going on, I totally forgot about it. So she got mad at me, and then I got mad at her, and one thing led to another... so now I'm tored, stressed out, guilty, and still kinda angry (mostly at myself really which in some ways is worse).

moving

I hate moving. But I can't afford to pay my rent, food, car insurance, gas, and student loans, so something had to go away. I'm moving back in with my parents at the end of the month, so they've been nice enough to completely redo part of the basement to have a bathroom put in down there for me. I'm just wondering where all my stuff is going to go, since I get the impression all their stuff isn't going anywhere.

Dammit, Marvel!

Okay. So, I've complained about this whole Civil War thing before. But here's a big honking list:
1) They killed off a bunch of characters right at the beginning in a giant explosion. I mean, I never really cared about most of the New Warriors, but was this really necessary?
2) They killed Bill Foster (the other, other Goliath. No, not Hank Pym. No, not that guy who's now called Atlas, either.) using a clone of Thor. I mean, okay... killing a guy off makes it all suddenly more serious. I get it. But I'm sick of using that as a replacement for actually handling the central theme.
3) they "cloned" Thor. Now, correct me if I'm wrong... but isn't a clone supposed to be, like, a genetic double? Not some kind of robot? Serious love to Hercules for smashing his robo-face in while making a reference to the 1988 Vice-Presidential debates. You really need to read Civil War #7 to have any idea how cool it is to watch him smash a robo-Thor into little bits of metal and body parts while screaming "Thou art no Thor!" To me, that's the one and only saving grace of the whole mess.
4) Continuity problems: So... there's this fake Thor running around... but in Fantastic Four a while back, we saw somebody named D. Blake (Thor's original alter-ego) grab his hammer after it had fallen to earth. Now, the fake Thor has a fake hammer. Because I somehow doubt that a robo-clone would meet the qualifications for worthiness that are needed to lift the enchanted item. So... is the real Thor out there somewhere? If so, WHAT THE HELL?! He totally would have smashed Iron Man's face in and ended it all before it got out of hand.
5) They brought back Captain Marvel. I ranted on this already.
6) Why the hell does the U.S. government in this fictional world think it's a good idea to put the Green Goblin, a raging psychotic and super-genius in charge of recruiting other raging psychotics to be controlled via technology? The man ran a military arms company. Somehow, I think, given everything he's accomplished in the past, Norman could find a way around the nanites in his system.
7) So, apparently, after reading Frontline #11 in the comic shop, I found out who was really behind the whole thing and it was Iron Man! Whoa. the guy I suspected the whole time was, in reality, the one responsible! Total. Anti-climax.
8)speaking of anti-climax... the War never really went anywhere. It ended with Cap crying and turning himself in.
9) speaking of Cap... I went to the comic shop today... kinda wondering about what's gonna happen in the Captain America series now. And they're sold out. I can't blame Marvel for this one, but I can blame them for not covering this bit of news better: Cap dies! Oh no! Like that'll last for long. I mean, they brought back Bucky, for crying out loud! And Magneto, for about the 8th time. And Hawkeye. And Aunt May, but that's a completely different storyline. Don't even get me started.

So. Predictions for how everything will eventually return to the status quo:
1) Green Goblin's super-crazy "I can't die" Goblin formula will force them out and he'll go back to killing people and tormenting Spider-Man. Which is where he belongs.
2)Cap will return.
3) it will turn out that that really wasn't Tony Stark, he's been kidnapped and replaced by a robot that thinks it's him... or he was being mind-controlled by Kang (again!), or something similarly lame.
3) the Hulk will return to Earth and SMASH the hell out of everything, putting an end to all of this nonsense.
4) ditto for Thor. Man, will he be pissed.
5) They'll just have somebody (Scarlet Witch, Onslaught, Legion, Franklin Richards... who else? Taking bets now, folks!) hit the reset button with next year's "biggest event ever!"

not dead, just pre-occupied

Okay. So I had a job interview on Wednesday this week. It was supposed to be Tuesday, but then they lost power and we had to reschedule. As a consequence, I missed a few hours of work Tuesday, but I made up for it by going in Wed morning.
Anyway, the interview was a total waste of my time. They had decided I wasn't right for the job before I ever walked through the door. You know it's bad when the guy you're meeting opens conversation with something about all your dreams being crushed and broken.
I have to admit, I think he was just trying to do me a favor. He has a background kinda like me, he was a teacher, did some traveling, was a freelance writer for awhile. He said he never would have taken a job with this company if he hadn't needed the money. Which, needless to say, makes me think he doesn't much like his job. In some way, I'm glad he just shot me down completely. But the entire conversation could have been conducted in a phone interview, and then I wouldn't have been all stressed out about it for days, and have to get dressed up and waste an hour and a half of my live driving there and back.
But I did learn something (which I pretty much knew already): I don't want to be a corporate cog. I can't deal with the constraints and expectations of being a faceless peon in a giant soulless corporate machine.
So I guess it wasn't a total loss.
ALso, I spent a good couple hours yesterday deleting stuff off my hard-drive. My computer was running really slow, so I went to defragment it, and it told me there wasn't enough memory to do this properly. I went "well, that explains a few things" and proceeded to start deleting files and moving old stuff I don't need anymore onto CDs. Think I'll do more of this later. Maybe some of the stuff from Librivox can go on CD for my car if/when I get the CD player installed. Yes, that would be nice... maybe I'll do that after I clean my room up tomorrow... and do my taxes... and finish knitting this mitten that's sitting on my desk.
Meant to do some of those things today, but I slept a whole lot instead. I went to bed at like, 12:00 last night, got up at 8:30 this morning and watched a bunch of TV until I started nodding off on the couch and climbed back into bed at 1pm and slept until my dad called me at 4. I have no idea why I was so tired.

The triumphant and angry return of Things That Piss Me Off

#12,347: My favorite radio station randomly disappeared, and was replaced by this. Now, I'm all for running off of renewable energy, but I fail to see why this required an entire change of station, and the type of music they play, and everything. I am now very tempted to boycott CBS in quite rage. Yes, CBS owns the station. I could live with that. Now I'm just angry that they didn't bother telling anybody. Yes, I got an e-mail about it. But I would have hoped they'd have made a big deal about it on air. Or did they spring it as a surprise to their employees, too? "Oh, wait. We don't want to play good music any more. And by the way, you're all fired. Get out."

#12,348: People who don't know how to drive.
#12,348a: People who don't know how to drive in anything other than perfect weather.
#12,348b: People who don't signal when they decide to cut me off or randomly cut across four lanes so you can continue to do 95mph in a 55 zone. Jackass.
#12,348c: People who leave their brights on and thereby blind me.
#12,348d: People who hit me in a parking lot and then drive off.

#12,349: Companies that "don't take calls about jobs." How the hell am I supposed to follow up with them, then? Stupid Association of Zoos and Aquariums. I would've loved that job, and been damn good at it. But I have to assume they didn't even look at my resume. It's been, what? Three months now? Just about. Their loss. Oh, wait. No, it's mine because I need the money.

#12,350: This is a bog one. I'm really pissed off at Marvel Comics this week. Why, you ask? Because of their one-shot entitled Civil War: The Return. On the off chance than somebody who might actually care will read this, I won't give away who's return it's about. But I'm pissed off because it was the one character I trusted them to leave dead out of respect for the character and a very well written death. But no! Dammit. Where's something to punch when you need it?

OK. I've been really bad about blogging lately.

I've been busy. And stressed out. And blogging isn't really a top priority these days. The point is: my boss has told me that Bode Technology is looking to "eliminate my position", but then I get this e-mail about giving me more responsibility, so I don't know what to think. Does this mean they plan to just move me into a different position? I certainly wouldn't complain if that was the case, but I really want to get out of there and do something a little more mentally stimulating. Which is why I went for an interview with Editech yesterday morning. I think it went well, but we'll see when they finish scoring my editing and proofreading tests. And here I thought I was done being graded for a while. I'm really hoping they find something for me, because I'm sick of moving filing cabinets and doing heavy lifting. It's really taking a toll on me both physically and emotionally. I get home every day and I don't want to do anything. I just... I dunno. I need a change. But I can't afford to quit, so I just need to grit my teeth and keep showing up at 8am until I find somebody else willing to hire me.

here's a nice big update on everything that's happened in the past couple weeks.

Christmas: spent with my family. Went to the 11pm service at St. Matthew's, which is always nice. Unfortunately, in the crowd, I didn't get to see everybody I would have liked to. Adam made me feel inferior in my gift-giving with his generosity, but hey. He has a steady job that pays way more than mine. Plus, he got a raise recently. At least everybody seems to have liked what I gave them. Only downside to the day was Grandma getting a flat tire a mile from my parents' house. She decided to just drive the rest of the way (including several stop signs and speed bumps) on the rim rather than trying to get help. I think she finally realized how useful a cell phone can be. Needless to say, she was pretty shook up by the whole thing, and thus not the greatest of company, but I can't really blame her for that. I personally received several things I had long been hoping for, such as the complete Monty Python's Flying Circus, Batman:The Dark Knight Returns, and High Ruhlain, the latest Redwall book. Also several other books that I am unlikely to have the time to read soon. Oh well. Add them to the ever-growing pile that I'll get to eventually. Like, in 45 years when I retire.

New Year's: Drove up to New Jersey on Friday the 30th to spend New Year's with Jess at her Mom's place. IT was fun and relaxing. I watched 15 straight hours of the Twilight Zone on Sci-Fi.

And now: Jess came back with me to Fairfax, and we've been sending a good deal of time together. I feel bad leaving her at home while I go to work, but it's unavoidable, I'm afraid. Will be taking her back home this weekend, as she needs to go back to Allegheny. I've watched more Starsky and Hutch than I ever thought I would in my natural lifetime.

Work: So, things have been afoot at work as well. After a stagnant week between Christmas and the new year, things are picking up again. Greg has been "let go," and while it saddens me, it's ultimately none of my business as to why. Also, I've been informed that the same fate is due for me any day now. This isn't that surprising, as my posistion was always meant to be temporary. Problem being, I have no job to go to after this, and no idea when I'm going to need one by. Moving back in with my parents is looking more and more financially appealing these days. Still haven't heard back from the AZA, where I put in an application a month ago. Finally got ahold of a person at their office, and was told they don't take calls about jobs. So I just have to sit here and wonder whether I'm even being considered or not. Bah.

Knitting

And I thought I was being productive knitting gifts for people. Lauren Porter has certainly outdone me.

So much to talk about...
First, last week was no fun. Jess and I argued a lot, which never helps anything. My car got hit in the WalMart parking lot and needed to get the front bumper and a headlight replaced. I pulled a muscle in my left wrist. And now I'm sick.
The good news is that they fixed my car quickly and gave me a rental for the day so I could still get to work. My wrist doesn't hurt as much now as it did Wednesday night, Jess and I talked it out, and I had fun at the office holiday party Saturday night. Also, I went with my family to visit my cousin John at the Naval Academy yesterday which was good. He seems to be doing well.
And now I'm staying home sick from work today. Hopefully I'll get plenty of rest, drink lots of fluids and work on my knitting.
And, maybe, just maybe, hear back from the Association of Zoos and Aquariums about that job I applied for.