Dammit, Marvel!
Okay. So, I've complained about this whole Civil War thing before. But here's a big honking list:
1) They killed off a bunch of characters right at the beginning in a giant explosion. I mean, I never really cared about most of the New Warriors, but was this really necessary?
2) They killed Bill Foster (the other, other Goliath. No, not Hank Pym. No, not that guy who's now called Atlas, either.) using a clone of Thor. I mean, okay... killing a guy off makes it all suddenly more serious. I get it. But I'm sick of using that as a replacement for actually handling the central theme.
3) they "cloned" Thor. Now, correct me if I'm wrong... but isn't a clone supposed to be, like, a genetic double? Not some kind of robot? Serious love to Hercules for smashing his robo-face in while making a reference to the 1988 Vice-Presidential debates. You really need to read Civil War #7 to have any idea how cool it is to watch him smash a robo-Thor into little bits of metal and body parts while screaming "Thou art no Thor!" To me, that's the one and only saving grace of the whole mess.
4) Continuity problems: So... there's this fake Thor running around... but in Fantastic Four a while back, we saw somebody named D. Blake (Thor's original alter-ego) grab his hammer after it had fallen to earth. Now, the fake Thor has a fake hammer. Because I somehow doubt that a robo-clone would meet the qualifications for worthiness that are needed to lift the enchanted item. So... is the real Thor out there somewhere? If so, WHAT THE HELL?! He totally would have smashed Iron Man's face in and ended it all before it got out of hand.
5) They brought back Captain Marvel. I ranted on this already.
6) Why the hell does the U.S. government in this fictional world think it's a good idea to put the Green Goblin, a raging psychotic and super-genius in charge of recruiting other raging psychotics to be controlled via technology? The man ran a military arms company. Somehow, I think, given everything he's accomplished in the past, Norman could find a way around the nanites in his system.
7) So, apparently, after reading Frontline #11 in the comic shop, I found out who was really behind the whole thing and it was Iron Man! Whoa. the guy I suspected the whole time was, in reality, the one responsible! Total. Anti-climax.
8)speaking of anti-climax... the War never really went anywhere. It ended with Cap crying and turning himself in.
9) speaking of Cap... I went to the comic shop today... kinda wondering about what's gonna happen in the Captain America series now. And they're sold out. I can't blame Marvel for this one, but I can blame them for not covering this bit of news better: Cap dies! Oh no! Like that'll last for long. I mean, they brought back Bucky, for crying out loud! And Magneto, for about the 8th time. And Hawkeye. And Aunt May, but that's a completely different storyline. Don't even get me started.
So. Predictions for how everything will eventually return to the status quo:
1) Green Goblin's super-crazy "I can't die" Goblin formula will force them out and he'll go back to killing people and tormenting Spider-Man. Which is where he belongs.
2)Cap will return.
3) it will turn out that that really wasn't Tony Stark, he's been kidnapped and replaced by a robot that thinks it's him... or he was being mind-controlled by Kang (again!), or something similarly lame.
3) the Hulk will return to Earth and SMASH the hell out of everything, putting an end to all of this nonsense.
4) ditto for Thor. Man, will he be pissed.
5) They'll just have somebody (Scarlet Witch, Onslaught, Legion, Franklin Richards... who else? Taking bets now, folks!) hit the reset button with next year's "biggest event ever!"
1) They killed off a bunch of characters right at the beginning in a giant explosion. I mean, I never really cared about most of the New Warriors, but was this really necessary?
2) They killed Bill Foster (the other, other Goliath. No, not Hank Pym. No, not that guy who's now called Atlas, either.) using a clone of Thor. I mean, okay... killing a guy off makes it all suddenly more serious. I get it. But I'm sick of using that as a replacement for actually handling the central theme.
3) they "cloned" Thor. Now, correct me if I'm wrong... but isn't a clone supposed to be, like, a genetic double? Not some kind of robot? Serious love to Hercules for smashing his robo-face in while making a reference to the 1988 Vice-Presidential debates. You really need to read Civil War #7 to have any idea how cool it is to watch him smash a robo-Thor into little bits of metal and body parts while screaming "Thou art no Thor!" To me, that's the one and only saving grace of the whole mess.
4) Continuity problems: So... there's this fake Thor running around... but in Fantastic Four a while back, we saw somebody named D. Blake (Thor's original alter-ego) grab his hammer after it had fallen to earth. Now, the fake Thor has a fake hammer. Because I somehow doubt that a robo-clone would meet the qualifications for worthiness that are needed to lift the enchanted item. So... is the real Thor out there somewhere? If so, WHAT THE HELL?! He totally would have smashed Iron Man's face in and ended it all before it got out of hand.
5) They brought back Captain Marvel. I ranted on this already.
6) Why the hell does the U.S. government in this fictional world think it's a good idea to put the Green Goblin, a raging psychotic and super-genius in charge of recruiting other raging psychotics to be controlled via technology? The man ran a military arms company. Somehow, I think, given everything he's accomplished in the past, Norman could find a way around the nanites in his system.
7) So, apparently, after reading Frontline #11 in the comic shop, I found out who was really behind the whole thing and
8)speaking of anti-climax... the War never really went anywhere. It ended with Cap crying and turning himself in.
9) speaking of Cap... I went to the comic shop today... kinda wondering about what's gonna happen in the Captain America series now. And they're sold out. I can't blame Marvel for this one, but I can blame them for not covering this bit of news better: Cap dies! Oh no! Like that'll last for long. I mean, they brought back Bucky, for crying out loud! And Magneto, for about the 8th time. And Hawkeye. And Aunt May, but that's a completely different storyline. Don't even get me started.
So. Predictions for how everything will eventually return to the status quo:
1) Green Goblin's super-crazy "I can't die" Goblin formula will force them out and he'll go back to killing people and tormenting Spider-Man. Which is where he belongs.
2)Cap will return.
3) it will turn out that that really wasn't Tony Stark, he's been kidnapped and replaced by a robot that thinks it's him... or he was being mind-controlled by Kang (again!), or something similarly lame.
3) the Hulk will return to Earth and SMASH the hell out of everything, putting an end to all of this nonsense.
4) ditto for Thor. Man, will he be pissed.
5) They'll just have somebody (Scarlet Witch, Onslaught, Legion, Franklin Richards... who else? Taking bets now, folks!) hit the reset button with next year's "biggest event ever!"
